Morgan wrote this post two years ago and still finds comfort in the truth she discovered during a dark time in her life: that God still cares about us even when He is working everything for good.
If
you have been a Christian for any amount of time, you are told that all
things work together for good and God’s glory. The suffering that comes
into your life will make you a better person. Just give it to God.
Then
you find yourself hit by life. The pain is far beyond what you thought
it would be: It goes right to the core of your heart. And suddenly those
platitudes you have heard uttered by Christians give no comfort
whatsoever. You see no good in what you are going through. And you see
God as a stoic being, moving around the pieces of life like a
chessboard. You are only a piece to be moved around so God receives the
glory.
I
felt like this a couple weeks ago. I knew all things work together for
good. I knew that my life is not my own, but for God to use for His
glory. But I felt like God didn’t feel for me. That God was up above,
moving around my life with a look of disinterest. I was only a means to
an end. And my suffering meant very little in the grand scheme of
things.
Then
I began reading the book of John. And God showed me a picture of
himself. Yes, He is orchestrating all of our lives for good and yes, He
does all of this for His glory (for when God receives glory, we bask in
the warmth). But He is not looking down on us with a stoic expression.
He is moved by our hurt.
Sometimes He weeps.
As
a child, it was a contest to see who knew the shortest verse in the
Bible. And in case you didn’t know, it is “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35).
But I never understood the full power of that verse until a couple weeks
ago. As I read John 11, I felt moved by the story of Martha and Mary
and their brother Lazerus.
Lazerus
is deathly sick. So his sisters send word to Jesus. They know Jesus can
heal their brother. They have seen His power and miracles. But Jesus
never comes. And so Lazerus dies. Can you feel their shock, their
feelings of betrayal? Why did Jesus heal so many others but never came
to help them, His friends? They bury Lazerus, probably along with their
hope.
Now
let’s look at Jesus’ point of view. Jesus receives word that Lazerus is
deathly ill. But He has a plan: a plan for good and God’s glory. So
Jesus waits. And waits. Until Lazerus dies. Then he tells his disciples
they must head back to Judea so he can awaken Lazerus.
However,
you do not see an unemotional Jesus in this chapter. Look how He
responds when he sees Mary and the others who are grieving with her:
“When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a
deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled.” (John
11:33). Jesus was moved by the grieving he saw.
They
head out to the tomb. And at this point Jesus weeps. He sees the grief
and hurt of the people around him. My friends, God sees the hurt and
grief going on inside of us too. He is not callous to our battered
hearts and lives. Even while God is using us for good and for His glory,
I believe He is also weeping with us. We have a God who has also
suffered. “Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he
is able to help us when we are being tested.” (Hebrews 2:18).
Jesus
wept. What a powerful verse. Those two simple words opened my eyes. I
no longer see God as a stoic being above me, moving around the pieces of
my life with a calloused hand. Instead I see a God who weeps with me.
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