In 2008, after being diagnosed with enlarged ovaries full of cysts and it being recommended that I have a complete hysterectomy, I scheduled the surgery. After realizing that I had not even consulted God about what I should do, but just did what the doctor suggested, I began to talk with God about it and ended up refusing the surgery, canceled the appointment and began believing God for a healing. Three years later, being treated for a kidney stone, I'm reminded again of the enlarged ovaries and told that the mass has gotten bigger and that there is a chance of malignancy but they can't know for sure until a surgery is performed.
Fear began to take up residency in my mind and a deep disappointment settled in my heart. I had stood for 3 years trusting God for a healing! Why has the situation not changed?! I became angry with God and voiced it not only to God but to others. This led to guilt settling in me for being angry with God.
Wow, just look how quickly I had given access to the devil in such a short time. Look how quickly the devil can steal God's Word from your heart if you allow it. But I found that I could not stay angry with God because I knew too much of His Word that I had hidden in my heart and I was NOT about to let the devil steal it from me this time!
God began reminding me of many of the lessons He'd taught me in the past that I had been inspired to write as devotionals. You can read about how I dealt with the anger I felt by reading, “Just Be Honest!”.
It's okay to be angry but sin not. When we begin to voice it by speaking words that are contrary to the Word of God, that is when our troubles will worsen. It's okay to be angry but we need to just begin to pray and ask God for understanding. This is the place I found myself. I just needed to understand. Just be honest with God of how you feel. I began to tell God, “God your Word says I'm healed. I believe it. So, why does my body still hurt? Please explain to me.” God will explain to you and tell you what to do. I wanted to share what God began showing me.
Misguided Faith – I was 'believing' God for a healing which actually meant I was waiting on God to heal me; I was hoping He would heal me, which is misguided faith. I actually needed to not only believe it but receive that healing, knowing it is already done! By His stripes we WERE healed (1 Pet. 2:24). My healing was coming progressively because that's what I was believing for. That was not His best, though. And it's not what I wanted. I wanted it NOW!
The Lord will meet us where our faith is, but His best is now. "Now faith is" (Heb. 11:1). Faith must believe that God is (Heb. 11:6), not that He was or is going to be. Faith is now! We have to aggressively take the authority God has given us and bring that healing into manifestation.The Forgotten Key – I had forgotten the Key, the authority that was given to me by God to lock out anything that tried to enter my body. My body is the temple of the Holy Ghost (I Corinthians 6:19) and I also have the authority to evict anything that has managed to slip past the door of my mind through doubt or fear and taken up residency in my body that I had allowed to remain. You can read more on that HERE!
Relationship – I have a lot of knowledge in my head and I know intellectually that by the stripes of Jesus I am healed, but I needed to know this in my heart! I was having trouble with it. "God, I want to know you. I want to know your Word." I needed to know that He did this for ME! "God I want to know YOU!" I needed to know THE GOD of the Word instead of just the Word of God! This can only come by relationship, spending time in prayer, praying in the spirit, and meditating on His Word DAILY. We need to let the Word of God paint a picture for us of who God is and through that revelation have fellowship with Him and know Him. Get that revelation of who He is to YOU personally!
Be Prepared – I had neglected to apply myself to the Word like I should have been doing. We can't wait for the storm to hit and THEN build the house! We're in big trouble if we do. The storm may be too severe and we'll need to run to the neighbors who are prepared and weather the storm there. We need help to survive, wait until the storm is over and start establishing ourselves in the Word, by confessing the Word.
But understand that “confessing the word' does not 'make it happen'. We are not creating it. We are not making God do anything. It's already been done. It's present in the spiritual realm, but doing no good for us until it's brought to the physical realm which is done by us believing, receiving and speaking it.
WarFare – There are times when we're doing what we know to do, but realize that something is there hindering the manifestation. There is a warfare going on that can only be taken care of through Prayer and Fasting. Keep in mind though that Prayer and Fasting does not move God. It moves YOU! If your body has controlled you for a number of years, and you've been giving it all that it wants and then suddenly decide to attempt to be rid of that control, a warfare erupts! The flesh is not going to give up easy! The devil is not going to give up easy! He's had you for a long time! But now...you know what needs to be done. You just draw on the spirit man to sustain you! You start living off the spirit man and it will take your focus off the physical realm. It is the same with prayer. If you focus your attention on the spirit man through prayer, fasting, studying the Word, etc., it becomes more real to you than the physical. You'll reach a place that what God says has become more real to you than the physical. You'll realize that what God says is more true than anything you can see. Many think that's just a pipe dream, that it's not dealing with reality, but it is. God and what He says can become more real to you than what you see. That's the way a victorious Christian walks. I have set MY mind on the Spirit and I never intend to ever look back! "For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace." (Romans 8:6) Remember: Make it a priority to never remove the Armor of God. (Ephesians 6)
Some of you are battling something right now and want a word from God. You say, "O God, speak to me," and the Bible is right there in your hand! God has spoken to you! The written Word of God is a more sure word of prophecy than any audible voice. You couldn't ask for more.
We have our Bible on our table and say, "God, where are you?" He's right there, where He's always been! Pick it up, blow the dust off the thing, and read it! The Bible is God speaking to us. It is God's Word. We need to exalt it.
We can do that. We can lose our own life, our own senses, our own wisdom, and get to the place where it's only God's Word that makes sense to us. This carnal world doesn't make sense anymore to me. It's God's Word that makes sense. Everything else is screwed up. It's not God's Word that is screwed up — it's the rest of the world! Get a hold of that.
We can renew our mind to think that way. We can get to where God's Word is greater than anything — greater than the word of a doctor, the word of a lawyer, whoever. It doesn't matter what they have — if it's contrary to God's word, it's ignorance. It's a fool who is speaking. We have a lot of educated fools, but if they don't speak the Word, it's because there isn't any truth in them. The Scripture says that (Is. 8:20).
We need to get to the place that God's Word becomes everything to us. Through the Word, we'll come into a heartfelt revelation of who God is. If we will exalt God's Word in a crisis, if we will fast and pray to get our body under control, if we will ignore what our senses are telling us, it will deal a death blow to Satan's work in our life. It may take time to do this, but believe me, it'll be worth it. Let's do this now and finally end this war!
Love you all and I'm standing with you!
Connie Schmoll
If you are viewing this from email, visit my devotional site to view and listen to the video, "Our God Reigns!" POWERFUL SONG that we should begin each day with!!
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