Looking Unto Him

Do you ever think you really know someone – I mean really and truly know them and then all of a sudden you are taken back by something they do that is very disappointing and very hurtful? I'm talking about a person you really look up to.

I have experienced this numerous times and yet I still couldn't seem to get what the Lord was trying to teach me, until now.

Here I was, my heart crushed, another deep disappointment hovering over me like a cloud of gloom. When moments like these would happen, I found myself always withdrawing from everything and everyone – especially the person who disappointed me. I didn't like this pain that would come and I began to fear being around others – for fear of making myself vulnerable to be hurt again. I would lose trust in people.

The one thing that hurt me the most is once again I lost a true example for me to look to. My heart desired so much for a true example to follow, someone whose life was real! I guess I was more or less needing someone perfect (according to my standards that represented perfection). I realized the reasoning behind this was, if I could find this person and they accomplished this “perfect life”, then this could mean there was hope for me.

The Lord revealed to me through a friend that I was harboring inside of me fear – fear of always being a disappointment to people. Maybe I felt most of my life I had been a disappointment to everyone and therefore felt there was no hope for me of ever being any different – so deep inside there was this longing to find that someone who could show me proof that it could be done – a person could live their life without disappointing someone – then there would be hope for me.

I remember that night, I laid in my bed, my heart breaking from yet another disappointment! I cried to the Lord saying, “Why can't I ever find that person I need in my life – that true example?!”

The Lord softly spoke my name and replied, “Connie, I AM that perfect example! LOOK UNTO ME!” And He directed me to His Word, Hebrews 12.

The Lord has given us examples to follow in the Bible and we cross paths with many great Christians throughout our life, but God never expected us or them to be perfect. He gives us leaders, examples to follow but He is our ultimate example! We are to be like HIM! No one will ever project that image of perfection except Jesus Christ!

Once again, I had let my eyes look to people when I am to keep my eyes upon the LORD! And through this revelation, He also brought deliverance of fear....fear of being a disappointment. We are all going to make mistakes and disappoint someone unintentionally, and people are going to disappoint us, but that is why we must always “live to forgive” and always keep our eyes on HIM.

LOOK UNTO HIM....the AUTHOR and FINISHER of our FAITH!

Connie J. Schmoll