Afraid To Die

Afraid To Die

John 12:24 ~~ Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.

Have you ever felt a deep sense of loneliness settle on your life? Even while in the midst of a large group of people, you feel alone. You feel very alone in your present situation, feeling like no one understands, no one can help, nor would they really want to. Loneliness can bring a very empty feeling when you do not truly understand its purpose in your life.

We all long to be what God has created us to be but do we have the courage to be it? Many people fail to live life to its fullest because of fear - fear of loss, fear of poverty, fear of the unknown, fear of failure and even fear of success.

Did you know that people fear the very thing they want most in life? Our deepest fears are always intertwined with our greatest longings. Our fears serve as spiritual indicators of the deepest longings of our hearts.

For example: Most of us want God to have complete control over our lives, but we fear letting go of the tightly held reins of our lives, to totally trust God to take control. Our deepest longing is for God to lead our lives, but our greatest fear is where He might lead. Fear of the unknown. We know this will bring sweeping changes to our lives that will leave us feeling displaced, insecure and vulnerable. We won't be able to retreat into the security of the comfort zone we have always carefully crafted as an excuse for failing at something.

Again...our greatest fears are always intertwined with our deepest longings, and once we understand this principle then we'll stop rebuking our fears until we first stop long enough to listen to them. "What is this fear telling me about myself? What is it masking? What inner longing am I afraid of acknowledging in my life?"

Although fear is evil and certainly should be driven from our lives, it should first be considered, processed and even listened to.

"Fear is a spiritual indicator of an unmet need or an inner longing that God desires to fill in our lives. It is an illusion pointing us to a greater reality. And once we identify the longing, and realize that the fulfillment of it is part of our destiny, we find courage to act on it. " ~Terry Crist

This is why I feel every person will come to that place in their life where a deep loneliness settles within them. We are not living life to its fullest, because we are afraid to die. It is crucial that we understand the spiritual principle that life is preceded by death. God will lead us into some areas putting this principle into effect, giving us opportunities to demonstrate its effectiveness.

Loneliness is one of the areas we are led into. The greatest loneliness is "a corn of wheat afraid to die". A self afraid to die - a self not surrendered to God - a life unable to live at its fullest - fear of giving up the control.

If you ask a minister, who is greatly used of God, what his secret is to his great ministry, you will find that a power found in a ministry most likely came out of walking with God through the valley of loneliness.

We constantly find ourselves running away from this feeling. We fear it. We look for ways to fulfill it...like material things, work, people, food, etc. And in our hunting, life becomes frustrating and tiresome and lonely. We're looking for fulfillment in all the wrong places. Sometimes the feeling of loneliness can cause us to make decisions based on our own desires. But yet, we find that these desires only give temporal satisfaction. And once again, we are left feeling empty inside and lonely.

Loneliness is actually God pulling us to Him.

Disappointments very well can become HIS appointments. Separation from certain things or people can very well be for the purpose of drawing us to Him.

We need to learn to rest in Him. He will take care of everything, if we let Him. We need to quit trying to do things for ourselves. God always gives the best to those who leave the choice to Him. It is so hard to let go of the control, but if we do not die to self, and let God work as He wants to, this feeling of loneliness will deepen and we will always find ourselves alone. And I'm talking about on the inside. There will never be any amount of material possessions, never enough friends or money, nor all the hours you work, or all the food you desire to eat, that will fulfill that longing inside.

"God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power ..."(2 Timothy 1:7) This power that we have been given is not just the power to overcome -it is the power to become who we are. The key to overcoming fear is to become who you are called to be in Christ.

Ask God to reveal to you any fear that is masking your unmet need or deepest longing. Let Him use it to direct you into total fulfillment.

Connie J Schmoll