Tears In A Bottle

I remember standing on the bridge that dark cold night, feeling all alone, with no hope. I'd had a lot to drink and my life was just a mess. I constantly carried guilt from always causing pain in the lives of those who I cared about. I stared at the rippling waves below as the waters rushed past into nothingness, which is how I began seeing my life – just rushing past into nothingness. All the past and present painful memories weighed heavily on my heart. It used to be that when life brought me heart-breaking times, I'd feel a lot better after a good cry, because it was like emptying myself out of all the hurt and disappointments. But this particular night was different. The feeling of being all alone and nobody really knowing how I was truly feeling inside overwhelmed me. I was so tired of the life I was living. How did I get to this place in life? I didn't want to be in that dark place anymore. I knew I needed help. I tossed the bottle of liquor into the waters and dropped to my knees and cried. The tears flooded my face and between sobs, I remember saying, “God, Please Help Me!” I sat in the dark for the longest time, then stood to my feet and walked toward the light at the end of the bridge and headed for home.

In the Bible, reading in Hosea 5:15, The Message Bible said it this way, "When they finally hit rock bottom, maybe they'll come looking for Me." 

That's where I found myself on that dark night. I had hit rock bottom and unknowingly went looking for God. He began doing miraculous things in my life after that. And He showed me that it was rejection that had brought me to that place in my life. I found it amazing how God brought me back to the same bridge, on that dark night in my life; the same bridge I ran to after letting the poison of rejection spread throughout my body at age 15, causing me to question, “What's wrong with me?” and no longer caring about myself, choosing that lifestyle of smoking, drinking, pre-marital sex, to attempt to bury the 'pains of life'. But this last time on the bridge, at age 24, my heart was ready and needed a new life – a new beginning.

The more time I spend in prayer and reading God's Word, I learn so much more and continue to draw closer and closer to Him. He shows me all the time how much He really loves me. You see, God was there on that bridge both nights collecting my tears in a bottle and recording in his book every situation that caused my tears.

Psalm 56:8 "You know my wanderings. You have put my tears into your bottle. Aren't they all in your book? When I cry out to you, my enemies will turn back, this I know, for God is with me.”

I was so wrong that night, thinking that my life and even my tears were rushing past into nothingness. My life was going in the wrong direction then, but I know now that every tear I cry does not just dry up into nothingness. I take great comfort in His Word knowing that He knows all my sorrows and each tear I cry is being “bottled up” by Him and He “takes note” of every reason, every situation that brought me to tears. I am that important to God and SO ARE YOU!!

Some of us have been taught that crying is a sign of weakness but it's actually a sign of strength. Just to name a few in the Bible whose tears brought about powerful results:

Jeremiah, known as the Weeping Prophet, his tears restored the nations, repaired broken covenants and healed people!

David, the writer of Psalm 56:8.9 was a man who killed a bear and a lion with his bare hands! He killed Goliath with just a sling and a stone. The Psalms are full of David's cries to God.

Hannah, with her heart-wrenching tears cried out to the Lord to open her womb and God gave her a child. She gave birth to Samuel, who God used to restore the nation of Israel thus paving the way for the next king, David, a man after God's own heart, who made a way for his son, King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, who made a way for more great kings who made a way to eventually, the Savior of the World. All from a tear!

Jesus, who we would hardly call weak, who endured the cross for humanity, wept. When Jesus wept, Lazarus was raised from the dead.

Tears produce power. Tears produce life. Tears destroy strongholds and set captives free. Tears heal nations and tears heal the brokenhearted.

Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite (crushed) spirit".

One of my favorite scriptures is Psalm 30:5 "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Weeping ushers in joy! Your tears pave the way and cause joy and release to come.

"I have heard your prayers and seen your tears", says the Lord in 2 Kings 20:5.   God has such compassion that tears cause Him to get up from His Mighty Throne and move mountains for you! Why? Because He loves you and He is moved by your tears.

Take comfort in knowing that every time you are going through something so heart-breaking that brings you to tears and you think that no one understands, God does! He knows exactly what you are feeling and sees every tear you cry and has a bottle in heaven where He collects them and writes it in His book where He always remembers. And I believe that God uses all those tears in that bottle to provide a "river of healing" for us to swim in because the Bible says that He works all things for our good and He will also restore every broken place in our life. You are precious to Him and He cares what you're going through and will be there to help you through it.

Connie J. Schmoll

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